The irrepressible "The Honourable" John Burke O'Brien.

While looking for references to a man involved in the fatal stabbing of William Mudge in 1893, a certain similar name began to assert itself in my results. "The Honourable" John Burke O'Brien was a character, to be sure, making "good copy" for newspapers for the 20 or so years he spent in New Zealand.  Whether he was more to be pitied than made a source of amusement through the press, I will leave to the reader.

About Drunks. — One of the two "drunks" (who by the way are both strangers in Nelson) brought before the Stipendiary Magistrate yesterday, was a decidedly queer fish answering to the name of John Burke O'Brien. The cause of his too free indulgence was, he said, the double disappointment of missing a steamer and thereby losing a job to which he was proceeding, and his object apparently was to drown sorrow. He said that he wished to make a few "preliminary remarks," which consisted of "Sir, I appeal to you as a magistrate, a gentleman, and a member of the Humane Society, under these circumstances to discharge me without a stain on my character." 

In answer to his Worship, SergtMajor Pratt said that defendant had not been charged in Nelson before, but had been convicted in other places. Defendant said this was the first time he had been in Nelson, and the Sergt-Major was going beyond the law of limitation, and he again made his appeal. His Worship in consideration of defendant being locked up all night discharged him with a caution, and was told "Sir, I owe you a debt of gratitude, and the interest I'll undertake to pay." It may be mentioned that when arrested defendant was engaged in trailing his coat along the footpath.   -Colonist, 28/7/1896.

NELSON'S KINDNESS TO STRANGERS.

John Burke O'Brien Once Again.

We in Nelson are always looked upon as a very easy-going, set of people (says the Canterbury Times correspondent). And it is well said that such is our character, for so we are. One talented authoress, who for some time, many years ago, lived amongst us, went home and wrote a book about us, and said that we lived for the most part "by barter," no one being energetic enough or sufficiently concerned to gather in shekels for his produce; each man "taking it out" of his neighbour to the amount due to him. She called our manner of life Arcadian and many other things indicative of general repose and plenty and ease. Yesterday a "gentleman," just passing through you know, and knowing our character for easygoing good-heartedness, will serve as an illustration to prove how simple and homely are the ways of our municipality. This "gentleman" was accosted by a policeman while in the act of trailing his coat along the pavement in a blissfully happy condition. I refer to the gentleman, not to the policeman, who took him and gave him a comfortable night's lodging. Next morning when this "gentleman" — he was an Irishman by the bye — was brought before our "benevolent Stipendiary," he said he wished to make a few preliminary remarks. "Sir," he said, as though addressing the chairman of a Land League Meeting, "Sir, I appeal to you as a gentleman, like myself and a Magistrate, and as a member of the Humane Society to discharge me, for it was to drown my sorrow that I took a drop too much yesterday. It was this way, yer honor, I had a double disappointment, yer honor, for not only did I lose me steamer, but lost a rale goodpayin' job wid her. 'Tis terrible to meet with two such misfortunes in wan day so says I to meself, 'John Burke O'Brien, yu've only wan way out or it, and that is to drown yer sorrow.' And that I did, yer honor, and not in salt wather, but in whisky. Therefore, I would ask you, seeing the circumstances was of such a disthressin' nature, to discharge me without stain or slur upon my virgin character." Then followed a colloquy between him and the Sergeant major; but eventually the Stipendiary discharged John Burke O'Brien on consideration that he had been detained for the night, and well knowing that though our character for hospitality must be upheld, that, nevertheless, we should have a fellow-feeling with a stranger in such distress as was John Burke O'Brien. "Sir," said that gentleman, "'tis a debt of gratitude I owe you, a debt which I can never hope in this world to pay the principal, for like as not 'twill never be my lot to be raised to the honor of a worshipful magisthrate. But the interest I'll undertake to pay regular and with promptness." And as he left the dock he added underneath his breath, "'Tis his health I'll drink every blessed time I puts the glass to my lips; that is the interest I pay him. He's a rale ornament to your town, and should be treated as such." And John Burke O'Brien walked out of court to make room for a local "drunk," who was fined 10s. Such is our kindness towards stringers sojourning amongst us.  -Wanganui Herald, 29/9/1894.

An oddity named John Burke O'Brien was charged with drunkenness, for which he had been punished many a time and oft. In response to his earnest and amusing pleas to be given another chance, his Worship set him at liberty, with the admonition that if he came into Court again he would get three months' imprisonment.   -Evening Post, 9/2/1895.

The comedy tap is always turned on when John Burke O'Brien appears in Wellington Police Court. And John very often does, for he can't keep away from the bottle. Last week he came up smiling — 'same old drunk, your Worship, guilty under the circumstances.' The circs were that John had made himself a nuisance by running in and out of certain tradesmen's shops. His explanation of this was delightfully cheeky. 'I'm specially engaged by one of the newspapers, your Worship, to write an article on Wellington, and I only went into these shops trying to get a pair of spectacles to help me in the work.' Pathetically he asked the Court to pity the gray hairs of a poor old man and give him one more chance to leave town. The police wouldn't give him a show. Their only object was to fill up the gaols and turn this lovely country into a penal settlement.' Magistrate Martin did give him the chance he wanted, but with his best Magisterial frown threatened three months if John appeared again. With serio-comic profession of thanks, O'Brien bowed himself out. Next day he turned up again and took his three months.  -Observer, 23/2/1895.

JOHN BURKE O'BRIEN.

AGAIN BEFORE THE COURT.

At the Masterton Police Court today, before Mr T, Hutchison, S.M., John Burke O'Brien was brought up on charge of drunkenness and vagrancy.

Accused said he obtained a pass from Mr Garvey to come up country, and got a few shillings from Mr Lane before leaving Wellington. He was not "straight from gaol," but had been working for Mr Lane, of the Royal Stables for four months, and Mr Garvey had merely given him a pass out of kindness so that he might get to the country. He had a few drinks on the way up to Masterton, and got too many after he arrived here. If His Worship would allow him to go away he would go and get work and would not appear before the Court again. He would leave town immediately if allowed to do so. If His Worship would remand the case and make enquiries, he would learn that the statement made was true.

Accused was also charged with throwing stones at John Tucker, of the Prince of Wales Hotel, and pleaded "not guilty." John Tucker gave evidence that accused was a nuisance to the hotel, and on being turned out picked up stones and threw at witness. The stones did not strike witness, but one was within a few inches of breaking a valuable window. The accused, at the same time, used filthy language.

Accused stated that he had three or four drinks in the hotel from the barmaid, and demanded that the barmaid should be called in justice to him. Although not intentionally, the last witness had perjured himself. He (O'Brien) had never thrown stones at anyone; he would not do such a cowardly thing. He admitted having once been convicted of vagrancy. Charging a man like him with vagrancy, was only manufacturing crime, and was enough to drive any man out of his senses. He was a lineal descendant of Edmund Burke, which accounted for his oratorical powers. The charge of vagrancy was only a technical one, and he did not think His Worship would take advantage of it against him.

His Worship found accused guilty, and on the charge of drunkenness, imposed a fine of 20s or 48 hours' imprisonment. On the charge of stone-throwing, he imposed a fine of 20s or a week's imprisonment. On the charge of vagrancy, he would remand accused till to-morrow, and cause enquiries to be made.  -Wairarapa Daily Times, 5/9/1895.

A queer plea was offered by the local celebrity John Burke O'Brien, who appeared to answer a charge of drunkenness this morning, before Mr. Martin, S.M. He averred that he was a correspondent of an influential paper, and had got drunk under very peculiar circumstances. He had just received a good appointment at Temuka, worth £200 and travelling expenses, and his friends had taken advantage of the occasion to tender him a champagne supper, the after-effects of which were the cause of his appearance in the dock. As O'Brien was only released from gaol yesterday morning, his Worship remarked that he must be suffering from some mental hallucination, and ordered him to be remanded for seven days for medical treatment.   -Evening Post, 12/9/1895.

Our Northern Letter (excerpt)

BATTLING AROUND. John Burke O'Brien has just been let out, and has taken to rampaging all around. He is gifted with the eloquence of an Edmund Burke he has the, "alementary" talent, the capacity of Bacchus, but he has been rather out of practice recently on account of compulsory retirement, caused chiefly through "indisposition" in the shape of the want of a proper recognition of her Majesty's law; but he is "pick-me-upping" rapidly, and is "doing" the pubs seriatim, those of Otaki being at present under fire. Last week a Wellington paper published a "pome" by "J. B. OB." in which all the comforts of prison life and fare are ably set out, and in which the "foorce," the "ofeeshials," and the "Gover'ment" come in for nasty knocks. Last night I heard John Burke O'Brien discourse in downright good pathos bathos — sublimity.  -Otago Witness, 6/2/1896.

At the Temperance Convention held in Palmerston North the other day the “Hon” John Burke O’Brien, not unknown to some of the people in these parts, ascended the platform and bowing profusely to the chairman wished to take his seat among the temperance notables, but a constable at the back of the hall, not deeming the “hon” gentleman fit company for the others, quickly removed him, despite much gesticulation and remonstrance on behalf of the would-be temperance reformer. John Burke O’Brien is now the buffoon of any company he may happen to be in, but he came to the colony as traveller for one of the largest drapery establishments in the old country, and until he fell, through drink, was looked upon as a very smart and shrewd business man.  -Patea Mail, 27/5/1896.

An individual, designating himself a distinguished gentleman of great name, called at the office this morning and informed us that he was paying our city an unofficial visit with some aristocratic music, which he is prepared to grind out at 6d per tune. He states that the instrument — which, by the way, is of the organ species and is conveyed from place to place in a pram — was the gift of Lady Glasgow. The visitor is not unknown to the police as John Burke O'Brien.  -Wanganui Herald, 5/3/1897.

Local and General

John Burke O'Brien, who, with a stock-in-trade consisting of a little hand organ, an old pram and a much worn photograph of his illustrious self, has recently been passing before the public as "the great musician," will this morning interview the Bench on a charge of drunkenness.  -Wanganui Chronicle, 12/3/1897.

A public meeting in connection with the Temperance Convention, sitting at Palmerston, was held in the Theatre Royal at that place on Tuesday evening. During the course of the proceedings Mr T. E, Taylor, M.H.R., stated that he was prepared to debate questions in Palmerston next month in regard to Prohibition, provided the person who accepted the challenge was a man of good reputation. Much to the amusement of the large audience assembled, the ever-green John Burke O'Brien accepted the challenge. Mr Taylor retorted that he had made the stipulation that the debate was to be with a reputable person. The incident ended by John demanding an apology for the unpleasant inference to be drawn.   -Wanganui Herald, 27/5/1897.

Local and General

A good deal of amusement was caused in the Police Court on Friday morning by the volubility of an inebriate with a long string of previous convictions, who rattled off an address to the Bench at a speed to which the flow of eloquence of the Hon. J. Gt. Ward, the fastest public speaker in the colony, is not a circumstance. The accused, who claims to be a descendant of one of the kings of Ireland, came under the clause of the Police Offences Act which caused him to be treated as an habitual offender; but he coolly requested the police not to press the charge on this occasion, promising not to appear again, and magnanimously offered in the event of his being again arrested to ask the Bench to inflict the heaviest penalty possible. "Have you finished?'' inquired Mr Mallard, one of the presiding justices. John Burke O'Brien, the accused, signified that he had. Mr Mallard elicited from the police that on the last appearance of O'Brien before the court he had been treated as an habitual offender, and expressed the opinion that on that account he should now be treated as a "mere drunk." "Some magistrates hold that view," Sergeant O'Neill said, but Mr Mallard's colleagues did not agree with him in it, and the accused was sentenced to a month's imprisonment. "I'd like to appeal against the decision," said O'Brien, thickly, as he sidled out of the dock.  -Otago Witness, 19/5/1898.

John Burke O'Brien —A well known character appeared before Mr Alcorn this morning, but was let off as a first offender. The accused is the celebrated "right honorable" John Burke O'Brien, who had been drunk and had fallen into the policemen's hands. Though this was his twenty-seventh appearance before the local court, the Magistrate, in consideration of the fact that he had not been in Ashburton for some years treated him as above, and the wayfarer resumed his way — whither?  -Ashburton Guardian, 12/9/1989.

Local and General

The Hon. John Burke O’Brien.— That esteemed personage the Hon. John Burke O'Brien dropped into Geraldine on Friday like a meteorite, with a new grey suit on his back and wearing a golf cap of the latest style in Paris. He carried in his hand a grain sack neatly rolled up like a travelling rug, the straps and handle being composed of string. This he leisurely placed on the footpath and a bystander inquired what manner of thing it was. The hon. gentleman, with a dignified air, pointed to the sack, and said, “That, Sir, is my portmanteau.” He then drew from his pocket a pencil stump and a sheet of writing-paper and said he was prepared to take shorthand notes of the gentleman’s remarks. The pencil however, required sharpening, so he gave the note-taking up as a bad job and went on to relate how he had dined with Gladstone in ’54, and had taken part in the Franco-Prussian war, etc. He quoted Shakespeare, and remarked that Lord Byron was one of the finest poets that ever held a pen in his fingers. In the middle of his oration he stopped short: and dipping his hand deep in his inside pocket, he said, “Gentlemen, my financial affairs have became so embarrassed of late that I am unable to obtain an overdraft in the Bank. — Could you oblige me with a clean paper collar?" After running off a few yards of his original poetry, he said he was at present hard at work upon a poem describing in flowery language the beauties of Geraldine, but as he was en route to Fairlie his time was too valuable to go into the question just then. Before we left the hon. gentleman’s august presence he informed us that he had been meditating in his private bedroom the previous night that he would have to shuffle off his moral coil some day, and in the dim future he could see rising before him a glorious monument raised to the memory of that great person the Hon. John Burke O’Brien. So be it. The hon. gentleman reached Temuka on Monday morning and renewed acquaintance with his many friends. He visited this office, and wrote the following verse in a few minutes:-

Temuka, sweet Temuka, In biding you farewell,

I wish you all prosperity — From my heart I wish you well. 

I thank you for your kindness, Never can I forget, 

I went to you with nothing, I am leaving you in debt!  -Temuka Leader, 23/5/1899.

Hon. J. Burke O'Brien in Court. — At the Fairlie Court on Tuesday morning, before Mr Julius Siegert, J.P., a man, popularly known as the Hon. John Burke O'Brien, was charged with obstructing the footpath, so as to be a nuisance to the passers-by. Accused pleaded hard to be given another chance, and was let off on condition that he left the town within one hour.   -Temuka Leader, 3/6/1899.

The Hon. John Burke O’Brien’s Farewell to Fairlie.

Farewell to friends in Fairlie I have known for many years! 

I am getting rather ancient; I am leaving you in tears. 

My heart is sore with sorrow, as with you I can’t stay. 

Since a stupid, gouty magistrate has ordered me away. 

Three weeks have passed already, without making my exit; 

Being an Irishman, I want three notices to quit. 

All visitors to Fairlie, the moment that they land 

Should straightway go to Gilmore’s — that hotel so grand; 

And, if they act consistent and sensibly wise. 

Should not forget O’Sullivan’s, and the Fairlie patronise.

I have travelled o’er this world, but the like I’ve never seen. 

Competing here in harmony is the Orange and the Green. 

Both are first-class houses the Fairlie and the Grand — 

The best conducted hostelries in all the Maori land.

Visitors and tourists, if they find they’ve overdrawn, 

Need not see their uncle their watch or ring to pawn. 

For there is Julius Seigert, Fairlie's merchant Prince, 

Who’ll lend you any sum you want — from one thousand to six pence. 

And if you never pay him, he’ll meet you with a smile. 

Even though you were to go to Timaru and file; 

He’ll sell you every kind of goods at prices very fair, 

A country bumpkin though you be, he’ll treat you on the square. 

The station master always is to ladies most polite; 

Lose your bag or ticket and he’ll soon set you right. 

The petty, gouty magistrate and Justice of the Peace 

To Fairlie and New Zealand are a thorough-bred disgrace. 

The constable who prompts them makes of them a tool. 

The constable’s the magistrate, the other is the fool. 

Willoughby’s a gentleman, and should be a J.P.; 

To Fairlie he is a credit as a man of high degree; 

He is your guardian angel, your special paid protector. 

And I will try my damnedest to make him head inspector. 

If you want a trap or horses or would like an Irish team 

To go up to the Hermitage or pretty Silverstream, 

At Kerr & Frayne’s you’ll find them, and all else you require. 

They’ll rig it out completely and leave nothing to desire. 

At Mount Cook, if you linger in winter’s snow and rain. 

They are sure to bring you back again in time to meet the train. 

All should pay a visit to Albury to rest 

At the best hotel in New Zealand, conducted by Fred West. 

There you’ll enjoy the sporting, and leave it in good health. 

With more money in your pockets than you could get by stealth. 

Farewell to you, Sweet Fairlie! I am leaving you in debt. 

Whate’er I owe, there’s nothing due; I leave you with regret. 

I thank you for your kindness, your insults I forgive; 

My motto always has been: “Let others live and live.”

I thank you for your kindness, from you I must depart, 

I’m in for a breach of promise, it’s the breaking of my heart. 

Fairlie Creek, June 18.   -Temuka Leader, 24/6/1899.

The “Honourable John Burke O’Brien,” as he is commonly known, an irreclaimable, was charged with drunkenness yesterday and let off with a caution, as he had only just come out of gaol after spending a month there. The caution was of no use. He was arrested again last night, drunk again, and this morning was sent back to gaol for fourteen days.   -South Canterbury Times, 22/8/1899.

His Kind Reception. — The Hon. John Burke O’Brien called upon us yesterday to express the gratification he felt at the kind reception accorded him on his return visit to Temuka. He took it as a very kindly attention on the part of the citizens that they should have engaged one of the best bands in the colony to play him in and out of the town, and it was a source of regret that the disturbed condition of municipal matters prevented him from personally tendering his thanks to the chief of the City Fathers. He has noted with interest several improvements in the town, and speaks in terms of praise of the general accommodation and liberal menu of the Queen’s Hotel. No one could have been kinder than Host Gillespie, who arranged an interview for him at an early hour with one of his old magisterial friends.  -Temuka Leader, 7/9/1899.

News of the Day

John Burke O’Brien, after serving a longish term, paid Fairlie a visit, and in a short time was escorted to the local lock-up by Constable Willoughby. On being brought before Mr F. E. Gillingham, J.P., he was again ordered to Timaru to do seven days for drunkenness. He begged to be allowed a return ticket, but was informed that his return was not desired.   -South Canterbury Times, 15/3/1900.

News of the Day

An old fellow well known in South Canterbury, John Burke O’Brien, was sentenced to a month’s imprisonment at Oamaru yesterday for vagrancy. He told the Bench that he hoped he was not going to be made the victim of a practical joke, and, with respect, appealed against the decision.  -South Canterbury Times, 10/5/1900

BENEVOLENT INSTITUTION TRUSTEES.

Last week's meeting of the Benevolent Institution Trustees was attended by Messrs Haynes (chairman), Allen, Wilson, Treseder, Zeile, Swan, and Green. Accounts amounting to £208 5s 7d were passed for payment. It was reported that George Kerr Sinclair, 69 years of age, and Neice McNally, 75 years of age, had died in the institution. A communication was received from Mr A. Crooke, Lawrence, enclosing a cheque for £30, a legacy to the institution under the will of the late Frank Pollock. Thirty-seven relief cases were dealt with. The following is a copy of a rather remarkable letter read at the meeting: — "Benevolent Institution. — To the Chairman and Gentlemen Trustees, — As you intend to advertise for a warder at L65 a year, I respectfully apply for the situation, and can give first-class reference. I hold the responsible position of head warder in No. 3 ward. If appointed I will give £20 a year out of my salary to some able-bodied inmate, who would do all the dirty work, which I would superintend, and see it done properly. With reference to my medical experiences I wish to state that I was under Surgeon-general Stokes, of the College of Surgeons, Dublin, in 1854, where I met with an accident from a collision with a policeman's baton, which knocked, out a portion of my brains. Dr Stokes filled up the gap with a portion of a mad doctor's brains, who was dying at the time. I got wounded in the back at the battle of Bulls Run, America, in '63. I have been in all the hospitals of New Zealand with broken ribs, broken legs, black eyes, broken head, and numerous other complaints, external and internal, too numerous to mention. I got burnt in the great fire of Chicago. I have been in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Timaru, and Dunedin hospitals. In each I was given up — no hopes for my recovery — being over 66 temperature. In all these hospitals I cured myself, thereby saving a most valuable life, by my own prescription — brandy and milk 24 times a day. Gentlemen, I refer you to the medical staff of the above hospitals, who will certify to the above statements. Gentlemen, I had the honour of shaking hands with his Excellency Lord Ranfurly, and the Hon. E. Seddon, Premier of Nev Zealand, which I hope will be a sufficient guarantee for my respectability. I remain, gentlemen, your humble servant, John Burke O'Brien. Should I be appointed I would require £5 in advance to buy an outfit. I regret I cannot call on you personally as I am a prisoner by order of Mr C. Allan for three months; not even permitted to go to church on Sunday, and, if not appointed, would thank you very much if you would grant me a pass to Timaru, where I can get work. — J.B.O." It is needless to say that the application was not entertained.  -Otago Witness, 23/8/1900.

Local and General

 A Visitor — The Honourable John Burke O'Brien is at present favouring Ashburton with a visit.  -Ashburton Guardian, 8/9/1900.

POLICE COURT.

A number of first offenders paraded before Messrs W. I. Ballinger, B. P. Manhire, and W. Barnett, J's.P., yesterday for drunkenness. One was convicted and discharged, and two were fined 5s and costs. 

A SPEECH FOR THE DEFENCE. An individual, styling himself the Hon. John Burke O'Brien, was charged with being drunk. He had evidently prepared an elaborate speech in defence, and amongst a number of pleas stated he had received a responsible appointment in South Canterbury, namely, correspondent for the "Temuka Leader," a most influential organ, that voiced the public opinion in the Temuka district. He claimed he had never been charged with anything dishonest or dishonourable, but, being unable to find his boarding-house, the police had treated him with every consideration, and he trusted in view of his grey hairs, which were "saturated with sorrow," their Worships would discharge him "without a stain on his character." The Bench cut short his oration with an unsympathetic "5s and costs," and O'Brien asked would he give them an I.O.U. for the amount, or would they give him time to pay it.   -Press, 25/9/1900.

MAGISTERIAL.

CHRISTCHURCH. Saturday, October 6. (Before Mr R, Beetham, S.M.) Drunkenness. — John Burke O'Brien pleaded guilty to having been drunk in Cathedral Square on Oct. 3, and also to being a drunkard. He was sent to prison for one month, in spite of hard protests.   -Lyttelton Times, 8/10/1900.

MAGISTERIAL.

CHRISTCHURCH. Monday, Nov. 12 (Before Mr W. H. Cooper, J.P., and Mr R. H. Wood, J.P.) Drunkenness. — John Burke O’Brien, an old offender, was charged with having been drunk on Saturday evening. The accused pleaded guilty, and promised reformation if discharged. The Bench decided to take into consideration the fact that the accused had been locked up since Saturday, and convicted and discharged him.  -Lyttelton Times, 13/11/1900.

POLICE COURT.

A COLD WATER APOSTLE. John Burke O'Brien, against whom there is a long list of previous convictions, came before Messrs W. Recce, J. C. Sopp. and E. G. Skog, J.'sP., on a charge of drunkenness. When charged he poured forth a long story to the effect that his medical adviser had ordered him to keep his head cool and his feet warm, and in accordance with the order he had taken a shower bath under the new well in Cathedral square. He had become more saturated with water than he intended to be, or had been for a long time past. The Bench cut short his oration by sending O'Brien to Lyttelton for the next seven days.  -Press, 22/11/1900.

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Observer. — No good end would be served by publishing your insinuations. John Burke O'Brien. — We have no space for your verses.  -Star, 12/12/1900.

A WOULD-BE SUICIDE.

CASE FOR AN INEBRIATES' HOME. 

An old man, decrepit and haggard, who has presumably ''seen better days," but has been a frequent visitor to the Magistrate's Court at Christchurch and Lyttelton of late, appeared at the Lyttelton Court before Captains McClatchie and Marciel this morning to answer to charges of habitual drunkenness and attempted suicide. John Burke O'Brien, for he it was, though voluble in the extreme, made no attempt to deny the facts which, were, unfortunately, only too plain, and he attributed his attempt at self-destruction to shame, and termed it the result of a sudden impulse.

"If you sentence me to gaol you sentence me to death," he exclaimed when pleading for consideration from the Bench. Captain Marciel pointed out that he had practically sentenced himself to death, already. The evidence snowed that the unfortunate old fellow had nearly succeeded in carrying his self-imposed sentence into execution. He was locked up for drunkenness on Tuesday night, and shortly after he had been placed in the cell Sergeant Rutledge, going to visit him, found that he had taken off his shirt and twisted it into a rope, with which he was trying to strangle himself. The garment was, of course, promptly taken from him, and the Sergeant determined to look into his cell frequently. It was well that he did, for on his nest visit he found that O'Brien had taken the leather laces out of his boots and tied them round his neck so tightly that he was in danger of strangulation. The Sergeant took out his knife and quickly had them off; and the unfortunate victim of drink made no further attempts on his life. 

The Bench sentenced him to a month's imprisonment for habitual drunkenness, and on of attempted suicide remanded him, to be dealt with by Mr Bishop, SM, on January 16.  -Star, 9/1/1901.

All Sorts of People

Hundreds of yarns could be told about that inveterate dipsomaniac John Burke O'Brien, who fruitlessly endeavoured to end a long and beery life by strangling himself in a Christchurch police cell last week. The interior and appointments of every courthouse and gaol in the colony could be accurately described by John, who has had ample opportunity for studying their most notable characteristics. It was in Wellington once that he was discharged for inebriacy, the S.M. saying that if he came up again he would give him three months. But the thirsty delinquent got on another skim-milk razzle the same day, and slept that night under police protection. Before the Magistrate could utter a word next morning, the offender quickly said, "I'm a Magistrate myself, your Worship, and I hereby sentence myself to three months' imprisonment." Sentence smilingly recorded.   -Free Lance, 19/1/1901.

AN OLD OFFENDER.

John Burke O'Brien, on remand, was charged on Thursday at Lyttelton, before Mr H. W. Bishop, S.M., with having attempted to commit suicide on January 8th. Though the accused when previously charged admitted that he was so ashamed of being in the lockup that he wished to make away with  himself, he now pleaded that he had no intention of committing suicide. Sergeant Rutledge gave evidence as to the two attempts accused had made to strangle himself. The accused expressed the utmost horror of gaol, and almost collapsed when the Bench decided to sentence him to three months' imprisonment. He recovered, however, and expressed the utmost gratitude when Mr Bishop explained that he would not be sent to gaol so long as he behaved himself properly in the Samaritan Home, where Mr Smail undertook to take charge of the man, as soon as he has completed a sentence of' one month's imprisonment which he is now undergoing. Mr Smail said the accused had been in the Home previously, and had conducted himself well while there. In closing the case. Mr Bishop said to Mr Smail: "I don't envy you your charge."  -Manawatu Standard, 21/1/1901.

Local and general

Says Christchurch Truth: — This office was invaded this morning by a gentleman who announced that his name was John Burke O'Brien, and conveyed the depressing intelligence that he had just been let loose from Lyttetton Gaol or the Samaritan Home, but did not seem clear which. He insisted that it was the duty of the newspapers, particularly this newspaper, to ventilate his grievances, and expressed a desire to make use of our correspondence columns. He also announced that he had proposed to send along his photograph for insertion in the Weekly Press. He wished to protest against being made a pauper of by being sent to the Samaritan Home when his life was insured for £15,000, on which he had neglected to pay the premiums. He further stated that he had been "saturated with insults," that he was not used to compliments, and went on to recite to us a "poem" which he had written on Lyttelton Gaol, and of which this is a fair sample: —

"Mr Cleary is a gentleman, I have no doubt, 

But his hospitality I'd sooner be without."

The poem was very long, and we fear that Mr O'Brien did not find his audience appreciative, because he recollected an appointment and left suddenly and yet reproachfully.  -Wanganui Chronicle, 1/3/1901.  

Local and General

A person named John Burke O'Brien, well known in Wanganui, appeared at the Wellington Police Court on Tuesday, charged with drunkenness. He informed the Bench that, after an absence of five years, he returned from the South on Sunday last, and on the following day was mesmerised in a hotel, and was arrested while under the mesmeric influence. He had an engagement at Foxton, which he would have to forfeit if detained. He asked Mr J. Godber, J.P., who occupied the Bench, "as an old Magistrate," to agree with him that he had been unfairly treated. A fine of 5s was imposed, whereupon the voluble one asked the Court to accept an I.O.U. for the amount. The laughter caused by this request was quickly followed by the removal of O'Brien.  -Wanganui Chronicle, 8/8/1901.

The rather notorious John Burke O'Brien passed through Woodville yesterday in the train. When he landed on the platform he commenced to deliver an oration to a large number who paused to listen to him. When the train was ready to start he had not finished his discourse, and he politely asked the stationmaster to delay the train a few minutes to allow him to do so. He was sadly disappointed when he was told his request could not be complied with.   -Woodville Examiner, 9/8/1901.

NOTES.

Red, white, and blue ribbon was in great demand yesterday. It was noticeable that as the day grew older the ribbon sported by individuals grew shorter. One man's loss was another's gain. A number of people wore the colours of the British and the Boers. Among the orators at the meeting at the Fountain was Mr. John Burke O'Brien. After expressing his loyalty, he bewailed the fact that his bank overdraft prevented him "shouting for all hands."  -Wanganui Chronicle, 3/6/1902.

One cannot aver that John Burke O'Brien is "the glass of fashion and the mould of form," yet nevertheless he "cuts a figure" as occasion demands. This well-known peripatetic philosopher was much in evidence at last night's celebrations in front of the Drill Hall, and, where characteristic eloquence failed him his deportment was of the Chesterfield order. His expressions of loyalty were undoubted, but owing to the lightness of his purse he mentioned incidentally that he could not put to practical purpose his intense desire to entertain in right royal manner the many friends who surrounded him. As a matter of fact he was so honored that a special guard of the men in blue saw that no harm came to him.  -Wanganui Herald, 3/6/1902.

The redoubtable John Burke O'Brien waited on us today, and announced his intention, of contesting the Wanganui seat against all-comers. The planks of his platform are, he states — independent reform principle, political reform, increased duty on beer, (we are somewhat surprised at this, knowing John's proclivities in this direction), State bank, with an unlimited scrip, and making Wanganui the Liverpool and Manchester of New Zealand.  -Wanganui Herald, 3/10/1902.

JOHN BURKE O'BRIEN.

To the Editor. Sir — A curious spectacle was witnessed opposite the Post Office last. evening. A harmless individual, rejoicing in the Hibernian appellative of John Burke O'Brien, was giving an address, dealing with some debatable topic upon which he spoke with some fluency and much eloquent gesture, when he was suddenly seized by a policeman and borne to the lock-up. Now, many spectators are wondering, on what grounds John Burke was so forcibly removed, and why his oratorical flow should be forcibly transferred to a less congenial environment, and possibly a less appreciative auditory. There are many who are prepared to testily to the speaker's sobriety, and it can be established that he was not beating a drum, nor blowing a trumpet (excepting his own), nor applying hymnody to popular music, nor molesting or annoying anyone in the street. The case, then, of John Burke O'Brien is interesting from a spectator's standpoint. If addresses are permissible in the streets, why were rights of citizenship denied to him, and if the law is against such modes of enlightenment why do the police refrain from interfering in other instances? The terms of the charge will be interesting as it makes one curious to know why an old man should be dragged to the lock-up for no greater reason than one of daily happening.  I am, etc, DEMOSTHENES  -Wanganui Chronicle, 6/12/1902.

Local and General

The irrepressible John Burke O'Brien was charged at the Police Court this morning with drunkenness and was convicted and ordered to come up for sentence when called upon. He politely thanked the Magistrate for his leniency, and treated the Court to piece of poetry (probably composed by him in the police cells), setting forth the beauties of Wanganui and calling forth the blessings of the Creator on the Magistrate.   -Wanganui Herald, 6/12/1902.

ASHHURST NOTES.

(Own Correspondent.) The Ashhurst Timber Company have secured about 2000 acres of fine bush up the Pohangina Valley. After an absence of some years the ever-green John Burke O'Brien payed us a visit, and had an audience with one of the local J.P.'s. Result convicted and discharged. The "evergreen," in a most appropriate, speech, thanked the "Bench," and fervently prayed that the bones of the forefathers of the worthy J.P. would never be disturbed.  -Fielding Star, 20/12/1902.

Local and General

Some diversion was caused in the Magistrate’s Court yesterday by a garrulous old man with straggling white hair and beard, who marched in and took a seat during the hearing of a case. It was John Burke O’Brien. Seizing an opportunity during a lull in the business, he advanced to the Clerk of the Court, touched his forehead in salute, and handing up a paper, returned to his seat. The document, which contained a large scrawl, was duly passed on to Dr McArthur, S.M., who read it. “Come here, O'Brien.” he then said. The old man stopped briskly forward, and having given the Magistrate one of his true military salutes, opened a perfect fusillade of talk. “I want, sir,” he said, “a protection order against the sergeant and all the police of Wellington.” The rapidity of his ensuing remarks and a defect in speech prevented much else being heard of his statement. It was gathered, however, that he had just served a month’s imprisonment "for nothing at all.’’ For this all sufficient reason he wanted what he termed a “protection” order. “Is it a protection, or a prohibition order you want?” drily asked the Magistrate. O’Brien proceeded to state that he had tried to get into the Old Men’s Home and the Salvation Army Home, but without success, “and, sir,” he went on, "I had to study astronomy all last right. I ask you as a good man to protect me as long as I conduct myself in a proper and orderly manner.” “All right,” said Dr McArthur, soothingly, "you’ll not be interfered with.” “Then I’m under your ‘protiction,’ sir?” asked O’Brien. “Yes;” smiled the Magistrate. “Thank you, sir,” with a bow, "thank God!” The old man turned with a beaming smile upon the subinspector, and favoured him with a ceremonious bow. Making his way out, he proudly surveyed the public in Court through an eye-glass, and, passing towards the door, winked smilingly at the press. “He’s mistaken the kind of order he wants,” remarked Dr McArthur, as O’Brien made his exit.  -NZ Times, 18/6/1906.

John Burke O'Brien (Wellington's Champion Police Court Character).  -NZ Truth, 1/9/1906.

John Burke O'Brien entertained the Benevolent Trustees for a few minutes yesterday afternoon. By his outward appearance it seemed that fortune was treating him rather shabbily, but his spirits were as buoyant as ever. He opened his suit humbly, apologetically; it was not much he wanted — only a train passage to Wanganui, where a friend would give him a job. He won this concession, and set out for further laurels. He would catch the train in the morning, but he wanted a bed for the night; if he was given a shilling or an order for a shilling, he thought any respectable boardinghouse would take him. An order was handed to him, and he resumed his oration. He pleaded for a little breakfast in the morning, and provision was made in the order for a meal. "Don't go to the Royal Oak," remarked a trustee. O'Brien quietly retaliated. Apparently ignoring the advice, he began a tale about an overdraft at the bank for £20. He gave out that if he could get the signature or the photograph of a certain person on a document, he would be able to draw £20 from the bank. "I went to him," he said, and paused dramatically. "What did he say?" queried a member of the board. "He told me to clear out, but—" The humorist's statement was cut short by a laugh, which compensated him for the Royal Oak reference. Suddenly remembering his tongue's previous successes, he sighed for a "bit of a swag," an old rug or a blanket to get him up again in life, but by this time the trustees were on their guard, and John's eloquence fell on stony ground.   -Evening Post, 5/9/1906.


Local and General
The evergreen John Burke O’Brien did us the honour of a lengthy interview this morning. He spoke of gaols, magistrate, policemen, hospitals, doctors, Salvation Army homes and other homes, the Governor, Premier and other Ministers, the rise and progress of Foxton, and heaven knows what else. Last night he devoted his time to studying the glories of the heavenly bodies between rifts in the clouds. He informs us that he is saturated with insults. O’Brien, may your khaki undercoat never grow less! and we trust the Foxton climate will agree with your health and shattered hopes.  -Manawatu Herald, 15/9/1906.

The name of John Burke O'Brien, a well-known character, will be missing from the Police Court records for some time, says a Press telegram from Palmerston. He is an old man — over 60 years of age. He has been committed to the Inebriates' Home at Pakatoa, Auckland, for two years by Mr Thomson, S.M.   -Taranaki Herald, 2/5/1908.

A VOICE FROM PAKATOA.

JOHN BURKE O'BRIEN'S PLAINT. 

A POETIC LAMENT.  

Most people who have come in contact with that most remarkable and persistent "drunk" have noted that John Burke O'Brien, man of many insobrieties, was a personality. He had that rare and admirable thing, a sense of humour. He had a certain eloquence — a "taste of the Blarney." He had obviously possessed education and it appeared equally obvious before he became a common drunk oscillating between the dock and the cell, he had been a man of some position and parts. As the years went on and the multitude of his debauches increased, the attic savour of the old man's wit diminished. His point became dulled, and he became more and more what he had always been in some degree; a pathetic and piteous example of a once bright man and still unquenchable optimist who but for the drink disease that possessed have been an ornament of society and possibly a leader in his country. Poor John O'B., in all his degradation, he yet possessed such ashes of self respect as kept his individuality from sinking into the sordid and colourless ranks of the lost souls in which he had long been a recruit.

Even among dipsomaniacs he remained a notable dipsomaniac, known to every constable and every police court in the country, having by and large cost the taxpayer a pretty penny on his apprehension, care — medical and otherwise — and detention. Long before we had inebriate homes for such wrecks as he, and less obvious derelicts, their necessity was recognised. That John Burke O'Brien in his old age has been committed to one by Mr Thomson, S.M., is fortunate for the man even though he may not feel grateful for it. That it has to some extent renewed his whimsical humor is evident from the subjoined communication which we have received from him. 

Sir,— I enclose the M. copy of My Farewell to Palmerston which I promised for publication. I of course, TAKE ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY, if they should bring a LIBEL AGAINST ME. The truth I will tell to you, All the damage they will get from John Burke O'Brien, is just an I.O. U. 

Sir,— As you are aware it was through the election of my most respected friend Mr Nash, Mayor, I got into my present difficulties, by which I am compelled to retire from public life for two years. It was my intention to contest the Palmerston seat at the next election as an Independent Opposition member; I now resign in favor of Mr Nash, I transfer all my supporters to him and am confident he will be returned by a large majority, as the country is disgusted with the present administration, and the arbitrary UNJUST AND TYRRANOUS Power in the hands of the police, turning N.Z. into a penal settlement. 

My platform, which I hand on to my successor, comprised: 

The duty off all drink. 

Drinks to be pure unadulterated.

State Banks. 

Limited fine for drunkenness 5s, five shillings. 

Police stations five miles out of town. 

Lock-up attached to every hotel. 

Sir, in conclusion, I would ask you to interview Mr Nash, the Mayor, and ask him to call a public meeting to petition and obtain my liberation. 

— I am, etc., J. B. O'BRIEN

P.S. If you publish send me a copy. I will send a poem every full moon on different subjects. 

JOHN BURKE O'BRIEN'S FAREWELL TO PALMERSTON NORTH. 

Palmerston, splendid city, level as a plain 

In future history you will rise to fame, 

Your public buildings and your public men. 

Where is another city's can compare with them? 

Your corporation, men of great renown 

(Though never heard of anywhere, outside your local town) 

When they meet in Council, some question to debate, 

They shake hands in friendship, and break up in hate, 

The dog tax is their hobby, most humane are the lot 

For each unregistered dog they order to be shot. 

Habeus corpus is suspended, within your green town belt 

As many an honest man, to his sorrow has felt 

No man can enter, to buy, sell, or cash a cheque 

Without danger that he may leave, like me, a total wreck. 

(Here follow several stanzas expressing the "chronic drunk's" view of the guardians of the peace and the magistracy. Notwithstanding, Mr O'Brien's kindly offer to indemnify us in the event of libel we are afraid that we cannot risk them. —Ed. M.D.T.)

A monument should be raised, in the centre of your Square 

To the victims you have sent to goal, and the Island of Despair 

Justice has left your court; alas as is well known 

Has spread her gold wings to happier regions flown 

Vote Liberty, Equality, at the next election 

And put the pubs and liquor trade under Government protection 

Expel those men who have betrayed you, on three hundred pounds a year, 

And return honest men, like me, who'll take the duty off your beer. 

Palmerston! Oh! Palmerston! in bidding you farewell 

I wish you all prosperity — in my heart I wish you well. 

I thank you for your kindness, never can I forget 

That I went to you with nothing — I am leaving you in debt 

I thank yon for kindness, your insults I forgive 

For my motto, through my life'scareer has been just "live - let live." J. B. O'B. 

I have no complaint whatsoever to make. We are all treated well, plenty of FISH DIET, SALT WATER and fresh air. O Liberty, Liberty, give me but Liberty; e'en were paradise my prison, I should yearn to leap its crystal walls!

O, save me from a pauper's grave From madness, and despair 

It is the only favor that I crave. 

Up here at Pakatoa where the bright gulf waters lap 

And steamers pass my prison cot each day 

I dream of times in Palmerston when dodging each big trap, 

In the darkness of your lovely Square I lay. 

Oh, ye Palmerston policemen, how lonely you must feel 

Now the other John has left you for a time 

And you my gallant sergeant, never more can see me reel 

When I'm struggling hard to find another rhyme. 

So here's good bye to Palmerston — Or is it au revoir? 

Will Jimmy Nash be Mayor when I go back? 

Will the justices be waiting still for poor old J. O'B.? 

Will I take to prohibition or hard tack? 

I wonder!

P. S.—Please send me a copy of the "Manawatu Daily Times" and put my name down as a subscriber to it for TWO YEARS. Yours Socially, JOHN BURKE O'BRIEN. 

President, Society for the Compulsory Practise of Temperance, Ltd., (Registered under Act of Parlt.) Pakatoa Island.  -Manawatu Times, 3/6/1908.

That notorious old character John Burke O’Brien died early this week in Auckland after an unsuccessful operation.  -Woodville Examiner, 16/7/1909.

The passing out of John Burke O'Brien removes a figure once familiar in the police courts of this country. He was a queer being; a little, shrewd-faced, original man, sorry "hero" of a Grand Army of convictions for either drunkenness or vagrancy. And whenever he was convicted afresh he insisted upon his privilege of delivering an address from the Dock. He usually used some notes, and there was an air of preparation about it, but it had so much grim humour in it that it took the man who heard it for the first time completely aback. The reprobate obviously so enjoyed the opportunity for an oration and one could have imagined him preferring to be arrested rather than miss the chance of so effective a rostrum and the reporters. After the record list of convictions landed the unfortunate at Pakatoa, he began writing to the Mauawatu Times some quaint observations upon life at the Island, with reflections upon Palmerston and Palmerstonians that would have raised a fine healthy crop of libel actions had they been published as they arrived. I see that it is said that J. B. O'B. was once a War Correspondent, but though most newspaper men have seen him often enough (he was wont to call in at the offices when not "otherwise detained") I never could discover whether he had been anything out of the way.  -Manawatu Times, 17/7/1909.

Local and General

John Burke O'Brien, whose name is known throughout New Zealand, and particularly in Wanganui, died early this week in Auckland, after an unsuccessful operation. The old man had come down very much in the world. It is said he occupied the position of war correspondent in the American Civil War. He could speak four different languages, including Greek.   -Wanganui Chronicle, 17/7/1909.

Pars About People.

CONCERNING John Burke O'Brien, the eccentric dipsomaniac who passed away in Auckland a week or two ago, leaving as his memorial a formidable record of convictions for drunkenness in the Police Courts of the Dominion, a string of anecdotes is cropping up in the south, where he was best known. John Burke was one of those oddities who have been described as being enemy to no one but themselves. His peccadilloes extended no further than his inability to emancipate himself from the attractions of the cup that inebriates. It is said, however, that he was never heard to use an offensive word, and never gave any trouble to the police when, in his persistent lapses from the path of sobriety, they took him under their fatherly wings for his own protection.

O'Brien was a man whose educational attainments and natural gifts, if kept in proper channels, would have won for him a place of honour and responsibility in the community. He was able to speak four languages, one of which was Greek, and it was understood that in early manhood he acted as a war correspondent during the American Civil War. Since his arrival in New Zealand, however, some twenty odd years ago, he has been constantly a ne'er do-well, living a more or less vagrant life. His fund of natural humour and his imperturbable good nature, together with his freedom from serious vice, made him a favourite with those who came across him in his irresponsible wanderings, and struck sympathetic chords in the hearts of the policemen and gaolers whose path he so frequently crossed. 

On one occasion, O'Brien was leaving the Timaru gaol after a fortnight's residence. As he passed out, he happened to meet a visiting official, to whom he opened out in serio-comic fashion about the shortcomings of the institution. "For instance," said John Burke, "I put my boots out every morning, and they've never once been cleaned. It's a really nice state of affairs for an old patron to have to go out on a morning like this to rejoin convivial companions with muddy boots. Please see that such omissions do not occur again, or I shall look for new quarters."

Another story tells how O'Brien once had a train detained for his convenience. He was tramping along a dusty road in the Wairarapa that ran parallel with the railway line, when a train passed him and drew up at a flag station just ahead. At that moment a horseman came along. "Would you kindly gallop on and tell the guard of that train that the Honourable John Burke O'Brien is coming, and ask him to wait a few minutes?" asked the tramp. The horseman did so, and the guard held back the train. The prefix "honourable" evidently impressed him. As the minutes passed, however, the guard failed to see the distinguished person he looked for. Presently he approached a dusty wayfarer, who had meanwhile come up and boarded a second-class carriage. "Hey, old chap," he asked, "do you know anything about the Hon. John Burke O'Brien?" "Yes," answered the newcomer, expanding his chest, "I'm the Hon. John Burke O'Brien. You may now proceed." And the story goes that the guard was so tickled with the humour of the situation that he "shouted" a trip to Masterton for the out-at-elbows joker.  -Observer, 14/8/1909.

GO UP THOU BALDHEAD! 

Dr. R. T. Gunther, of Magdalen, Oxford, has brought inexpressible balm to the bald by exuding the scientific opinion that the less hair you have the more brains you have. It is unnecessary to suggest that Dr. Gunther is bald. 

John Burke O'Brien was the son of an excellent Irish family. He roamed in days not so lang syne from Wellington to the Wairarapa and perhaps further, It is, alas! true, that if alcohol had never been discovered he would have been a teetotaler. As it was he was often is gaol. He had emerged from temporary retirement subsequent to one of those periods of diversion to which he was addicted, and while in gaol he had time to permit his soul to flow. He invaded a Wanganui newspaper office and waved a poem at the editorial staff. He had, he declared, composed it in gaol, and it was about the gaol. The speech of Mr. O'Brien was not free from the after effects of his favourite hobby, but one line lingers, 

Our gaoler is a chap there is no dodging/ He gives us all free board, washing and lodging. 

There were other equally priceless lines and John endeavoured to declaim them, but was increasingly incoherent. The sub-editor, who at that time had hyperior curls of some great beauty and luxuriance (and who indeed still retains considerable cerebral verdure), took the manuscript from John and tried to read the lines over which Mr. O'Brien stumbled. He turned to the poet and said: "Can't make it out at all, John, not a jolly word!" The O'Brien, with his fluency restored turned with dignity and looked at the sub-editors head: "You can't have hair and brains too." he said. 

Shortly after, Mr. O'Brien was seen in oratorical attitude at the corner of the street. These were his words: "To-night, at eight o'clock, at the Theatre, the celebrated temperance advocate, Mr. John Burke O'Brien, will lecture on the avils of drink. All cordinally invoited. Children an' gintlemin will bring their own mugs." 

A contemporary constable declares that the lecture was postponed.   -Auckland Star, 20/8/1909.