Alice or Agnes Banning is one of those characters who, in the online resources available to me, shines like a coarse, lively nova in the polite sky of newspaper reportage. What she looked like, we can know. Where she came from and what became of her, I will probably not discover. But, for a while, she was "good copy."
DIRTY DOINGS AT DUNEDIN.
Alice, Where Art Thou?
Three Months for Indecency.
Dunedin, or at least that portion of it in the know, has just been laughing like a pretty girl with dimples. The cause of the merriment is the adventure of a certain conspicuous member of the Kilties' Band with a damsel of fragile virtue named Alice Banning. This Kiltie, who has lately been one of the most prominent circumstances on the landscape in the Scotchbyterian city, met the beauteous Banning and at once succumbed to her succulent charms. The amorous Alice was by no means adverse to
THE KILTIE'S CUDDLESOME ADVANCES, and the happy couple went to live at St. Kilda, where, for three blissful weeks they spent a most gay and gorgeous honeymoon. This was all right and joyful, but the Kiltie got a terrible shock when the bold, bad hussy Banning was brought up in Court last week. There were three charges against Alice: (1) being drunk; (2) committing a grossly indecent act; (3) damaging a window pane and stretcher in the cell. The evidence showed that a couple of wicked men had driven Alice out to St. Kilda, and they discussed various things — astronomy and the increased price of meat — amongst the lupins. Presently the two bad men drove away, leaving the lady lonely but not sad. Anon, she met another gentleman, who observed, "Alice, where art thou?" or words to that effect. The result of the conversation, was that Banning and her beau hied away into Tahuna Park, and proceeded to make themselves cosy amongst the lupins. Some passers-by, however, happened to sight the loving pair amongst the lupins, and were almost petrified on the spot at the awful sight that met their horrified eyes. They at once communicated with the police, and Cop. Murray
SET OUT TO THE SCENE OF SHAME post-haste. What he saw when he arrived almost made the detec blush — Alice was in such a bleak, unsheltered condition.
At the Police Court next morning she was charged as indicated above. After evidence had been given as to the particular incident, 'Tec. McLeod was called to give Alice a testimonial. Mac. said he had known Alice for over twelve months— known her in an official sense only, of course — and she was altogether too lurid and vivid a female for polite sassiety. In fact, she was a lady of "no class" and of fragile virtue.
On the charge of indecency, Alice was sentenced to three months' jug, and discharged on the others. She was given the chance to go to Mount Magdala Home instead of chokee, hut she refused vehemently and with sobs.
"I won't go to Mount Magdala," she declared, passionately, as she was led from the Court, weeping hysterically.
The joke about the cuddlesome Kiltie is that he thought Alice was a dear little unsophisticated innocent, who had never even dreamed about forbidden fruit, much less tasted it. And Alice is a lady with a violently purple past. She is known to fame and the police as Waikouaiti Liz. This nom de guerre was earned in an interesting manner. About twelve months ago she went out to Waikouaiti races, and soon got to work
TO IMPROVE THE SHINING HOUR. A special race train from Dunedin had been put on, and was left standing on the rails during the races. The lady took advantage of the opportunity to hold a Court of Love in the standing cars, and she entertained quite a lot of male visitors before the police ungallantly descended on the scene and broke up the voluptuous levee. Hence Alice's alias. Another peculiarity about the lady, who is tall and not bad looking, considering that she is such a weatherbeaten battler, is the fact that she usually wears a navy blue dress with very short skirts, red stockings, and tan shoes. This color scheme is quite chic. -NZ Truth, 23/1/1909.
MORNINGTON MATINS.
LIVELY MAGISTRATES COURT CASE.
Was Mrs Banning Banged ? Fun in a Fruitery.
There was a large sensation and a sudden collapse of a police case in the Dunedin S.M.s Court on Monday last, when a young man called John Sydenham came up before Mr Bartholomew, S.M., on charges of obscene language, assaulting one Agnes Banning, and wilful mischief by damaging a box belonging to that woman, all of which happenings occurred at Mornington on March 8.
The sensation and collapse were caused by the lady, who is tall, buxom, and handsomely dressed, who absolutely, and in a loud voice, refused to give evidence against. John, as he had been a good friend of hers and she wasn't going to see him get into trouble. Also, the lady reckoned the police had cast aspersions on her virtue, and she wasn't going to stand that.
When the case was called, Agnes Banning bounced into the body of the court, and took a seat alongside of a number of copmen, and, was resplendent in a sort of heliotrope creation with
THE LATEST THING IN HATS. Lawyer Irwin appeared for the defendant, who pleaded not guilty.. When counsel asked that all witnesses be ordered into outer darkness, Court Orderly Butler gave effect to the request, and the lady stalked majestically out.
Station-Sergeant King said that John had been employed by the lady in her fruit shop at Mornington, and received 30s per week as wages. On March 8 Agnes and John had a difference about some accounts, and John used some awful language to her, a thing which he apparently had done before, whereat the lady threw some water over him. In return, John punched her twice in the chest, and as a consequence she had to go to the doctor for treatment. She left the house in a frightened state, and on returning later in the day found the domicile and shop locked up and John inside. John refused to let her in, so she went for the police, who were also refused admission by John. The police then
BUST THE DOOR OPEN and on going inside Agnes found that a box valued at £l 5s had been broken.
With reference to the charge of obscene language, he did not intend to offer any evidence, as there were no witnesses outside who heard it, and he asked leave to withdraw the charge.
The S.M. granted permission.
Peter McCombish, steward on one of the U.S.S. Co.'s boats, said he was on a visit to Mrs Banning's place on March 8. He saw accused and Mrs Banning and they had a row. The start of it was when he and Mrs Banning were leaving the house in the morning, and they found all the locks on the doors locked. Accused had been locking them all day. The lady remonstrated with defendant, and he hit her twice in the chest, and she had to go and see the doctor. Witness knew the box was broken by John, as he saw it lying broken outside.
To Lawyer Irwin: The last boat he was on was the Moeraki, and he had been on her about nine months. He left her on Saturday last. He knew Mrs Banning's husband. He was also on the Moeraki, and was one of the U.S.S. Co.'s oldest hands. Agnes's Husband looked after witness's money for him, but witness strenuously denied that it was on account of his drinking propensities. He asked Agnes's husband to look after it because there was
SO MUCH PILFERING on board the boats. Witness here went into a detailed account of the recent theft of jewels on a U.S.S. Co. boat until he was pulled up.
Lawyer Irwin: Yes, but Mr Banning is afloat and you are ashore here.
Witness: Well, that is all right.
Lawyer Irwin: Aren't you afraid of Mr Banning?
Witness: No, I am not, and you needn't try to cross-examination me. I'm too old in the head. (Laughter.) Continuing, witness said that he couldn't say whether defendant ran the fruit shop. He took no interest in Sydenham beyond seeing him come down to the shop to see Mr Banning. Witness only saw the end of the unpleasantness, and saw defendant strike the blow. Mrs Banning threw the water over defendant on account of his bad language.
Lawyer Irwin: What was it in?
Witness: One time it was in a basin and the other time in a jug.
Oh, I see, there were two lots. Did she throw the basin or its contents? — She threw the water.
Did he stand quietly while she threw water over him? — Yes, he stood quietly.
Didn't he try to stop her? Witness (warningly): Now,
DON'T TRY TO CONFUSE ME.
Lawyer Irwin: But you are the man who couldn't be confused.
The S.M.: Take your time answer the questions.
Witness: She threw the water over him and he didn't strike her, and then she threw more and he hit her.
The S.M.: How did he hit her?
Witness (acting the part): He put his arm round her and hit her with the other.
Lawyer Irwin: Where did the jug go? — She put the jug on the table.
Do you mean to say that when he struck her she quietly put the jug down on the table? — Oh, that was in the hall.
Lawyer Irwin here took over a plan of the premises, drawn by defendant, to get witness to show where the waterworks happened.
Now, didn't the jug incident occur in the kitchen? — There was a basin in the kitchen, so far as I know.
No, no, wasn't the jug thrown in the kitchen? — Yes (hesitatingly), I know there was something thrown in the kitchen.
How could you see? Remember,
YOU WERE IN YOUR BEDROOM at the time.
Witness: I could see into the kitchen.
The plan was here gone into again, and it showed that there was only one door to the bedroom, and it did not command a view of the festive kitchen. Witness swore that there was another door to the bedroom opening into the kitchen.
Now, were you in that bedroom at all? — Yes.
Did you see the box taken into the yard? — No.
Why did you swear you saw it taken into the yard? — Well, I thought so.
Now, do you know anything against accused's character? — I'm sorry to see him in this trouble.
But do you know anything against him? — No, he is very quiet, and never had anything to do with me.
The next witness called was the fair lady herself, and she climbed gaily into the box with fire in her eye. When the orderly tendered the court Testament, the lady opened proceedings in a loud voice and with an aggressive manner, thusly:
NO! I REFUSE TO SWEAR.
The S.M. (surprised): You refuse to give evidence?
Witness: I am not going to give evidence, that's all. I have been called a woman of ill repute by "Sergeant-Station" King, and I'm not; my husband keeps me.
The S.M.: But why do you refuse to give evidence?
Witness: I won't give evidence against a man who has been a good friend to me. (With great decision) I am not going to swear anything at all. I have a solicitor.
Lawyer Irwin: I understand Mr Scurr is watching the proceedings on her behalf.
Lawyer Scurr, who was present, said that such was the case, and that the witness spoke to him, and asked him to appear, but he did not know that anything of this kind was going to happen. Lawyer Scurr then walked over to the lady, and by some magic process succeeded in pacifying her, and in inducing her to be sworn.
Station-Sergeant King then started to examine the lady, but hadn't gone very far before
THE STORM AROSE ONCE MORE.
Mrs Banning said she had a fruit store in Mornington. On the morning in question she and defendant had a disagreement, "which might occur to anyone." She denied that defendant assaulted her.
Station-Sergeant King: Didn't you go to see Dr. Evans?
Witness: Yes, but not medically. There is no need for me to tell you why I see him. I have been attending him.
Station-Sergeant King: Now, didn't you make a statement to the police that accused had assaulted you?
Witness: I did not say that he had assaulted me.
The constable dictated the statement, and I did not say it was true. I did not know what I signed, I was so worried.
Station-Sergeant King: Now, didn't send for the police? — No, McCombish did.
Didn't you complain to the constable about your box? — No, I did not.
What is the position of the accused — what is the relationship between you and him? — You know he is my manager.
What wages do you pay him? Witness (distantly): We pay him a wage. It's not necessary to tell you what we pay.
Station-Sergeant King: Where does he board? — You know where he boards.
Did you see McCombish last night and try to get him
TO ALTER HIS EVIDENCE? Witness: No, I did not; he wanted to see me.
Station-Sergeant King: When did you change your mind about giving evidence in this case?
Witness: I need not answer.
Station-Sergeant King (to the S.M.): I think, in the circumstances it is no use going on. The witness is hostile.
The S.M.: With a witness of this nature there would be no use going on. It is really a matter between themselves. I can quite understand that if the position had been put before the police as the witness wishes it put before the court, it would have been useless to have brought the case. The cases will be dismissed.
Lawyer Irwin said that he would have liked to have asked Mrs Banning a few questions over certain allegations that had been made. In fairness to accused, he had to state that Sydenham was a friend of Mrs Banning's, and a relation, and was manager of the business. He was paid a salary and commission. The assumption had been that he and complainant had been living together.
Here Station-Sergeant King made dissent, and the lady added across the court: "And he called me a woman of ill-fame."
Orderly Butler: That'll do, Mrs Banning.
Continuing, Lawyer Irwin said he would have liked to refute the statements.
The court, however, had had enough and called the next case with much, suddenness, whereat the parties left together. -NZ Truth, 18/3/1911.
AGNES'S AGONY.
A DUNEDIN ECHO IN SYDNEY
The Barneys of the Bannibngs
A Wild Woman — Leers at the Beak and the Lawyers — Was She Sweet on Sydenham? — Were You Ever Arrested in Dunedin? — Sent to for Seven Days — The Case Dismissed.
From Mornington, which is a Dunedin suburb, to Sydney isn't very far when you say it quickly, but people do go away, and Sydney "Truth" recently recorded the following Police Court case in Sydney. We fancy yoo have heard of the Bannings before at Waikouaiti, or some such charming place.
The troubadours of old, who so gaily twanged their guitars and serenaded a woman's cheek, had they been in the Sydney Water Police Court last Friday week, would have been flabbergasted and knocked completely ker-wollop at the cheek of Agnes Banning. Aggie had issued a summons against her husband, Sylvester Horatio of the same name, for maintenance, and the case was listed for hearing before Mr Clarice.
Agnes is a fine fat lump of a lydie, rosy-cheeked, and with big, bushy black eyebrows. Furthermore, Mrs Agnes Banning sported a blue ribbon bow, which fluttered from the breast of her bosker open-worked embroidered blouse, and on her napper she wore a big floral eady. For some little time preceding the calling of the case, Mrs Banning occupied a seat in court, castling googoo glims on to a gent whom she sat next to, and who was not her own Sylvester Horatio, the latter, by the way, having squatted close to his little lawyer-man, Mr E. R. Abigail.
When the case was called up, the fine fat feminine coughed, "tee-heed," and, with
A QUZZICAL SMILE, winked at the gent from whose side she had just darted up, sidled across the floor of the court, and bobbed bang into the witness-box with a "Hic-scoose-me," as she apologetically jabbed the tips of her left fingers in front of her drinkeree, and took up the Book, to which she gave a slobbering "kiss." However, no sooner had the lydie been sworn, than tears welled up into those big glims of hers, and coursed down her cheeks, rolling along bubble-like to her blouse, and fondly-like on to the bunch of blue ribbons on her breast.
Magistrate (soothingly): Come, come; we don't want any of that now. Stop crying.
Agnes (knuckling her eyeballs): "Boo-hoo-oo-oh, boo-hoo-oo-oh."
Mr Clarke: Tears are not wanted here; we want facts.
But, instead of stopping, the tears now fairly rained from the peepers off Mrs Banning, ploughing their way through the paint and powder on to her blouse, as if these tears were a chasing the other 'uns in a Marathon rac.
The eye-tide at the Water going down after a little while, the woman, through her tears, told the bench that she was the wife of the defendant, and, "Well, yer worship (hic) — scoose me, I had to cry. Yer carn't 'elp yer feelings, canyer?"
Magistrate: Oh, please, do go on.
The quizzical smile now returned to the dial of Mrs B, as she said that at present she resided in Carrington street, at Wynyard-square, and was without means of support. "Your Worship," said she, "I've only got two shillings, and I'll show it to yer if yer want to see it."
The magistrate didn't.
The witness said that during the last six months she had only received L15 from her husband, who had been
AWAY TO SCOTLAND.
He was a ship's butcher, and worked on the Wanganui, which had only recently arrived at Sydney. On coming into port, witness had gone down to the wharf, and asked Sylvester Horatio for some money, and he gave her £1. There was no family, and her husband earned £7 a month, besides the wee "perks" which, he told her himself, had come to as much, as £5.
Sergeant Drew: Well, what amount do you ask for?
Witness (sneeringly): Well, (hic), if he can keep another woman, I s'pose he can keep me I'm his wife.
Magistrate (sternly); What, do you ask for? — Oh, what do I ask for, eh? Well, £2 a week (with a grotesque smirk).
Magistrate: You must conduct yourself properly here, you know. — Ho, I must, eh?
Yes, you must, and I'll see that you do, do you hear? — Oh, all right (with. an impudent swagger).
Mr Abigail: What is the name of the gentleman you were sitting in court with? Witness (winking at a man seated, in court, then turning to Mr Abigail) You mind your own business, d'ye hear.
What's his name? — Oh (another wink), that's Mr Sydenham, that is.
How long hare you been living with him? — What! How dare yer, how dare yer. (Then, with a yell) I'm not living with him. You mind yer own affairs, d'ye hear.
Mr Clarke again warningly looked al the witness, who heeded not the: signal "danger."
Mr Abigail: Had you this man Sydenham working a fruit shop for you tin Mornington, New Zealand? — My so-called husband left him as manager (another wink across the court).
I'd ask that man sitting over there be told to leave the court, your Worship, if you please.
The man sitting over there took the hint and his departure.
Mr Abigail: You sold the business, did you not? How much did you get for it? — How much — £35.
What did you do with the money? — I got a saloon ticket for Sydney from New Zealand.
Oh, did you.? — Yes, did I (this mimicking Mr Abigail's tone).
Did the man come over with you in the same boat? — He had a saloon ticket also in that boat.
How interesting? — Yes, wasn't it, just — quite (smiling and smirking now in great style)
Magistrate (to Mrs B.): Remember, I've warned you! — Oh, that's all right (turning her back to the beak).
Mr Abigail: Where did you go to live when you came to Sydney? — Oh (stamping her foot), dash it all, I forget. No, I remember — with a woman in Arthur-street, North Sydney.
In Arthur-street? — No, in Walker street (again imitating Mr Abigail's manner of speaking).
What name did you go by? — By my own, and we had separate rooms, doncherno (this in extra swaggery style), and then, we went to the Glebe. Haha!! ha!
Mr Clarke: You'll get into trouble if you don't behave yourself! — Think so?
Mr Abigail: Did this man not say, "Agnes, take my arm," outside the court, to-day? — No.
You've had a few before the court opened this morning, didn't you? — No, I haven't, have you?
Mr Clarke: Look here, I tell you again that if you don't conduct yourself properly in court I'll adjourn the case and
SEND YOU TO PRISON. Mr Abigail (to Mrs B.): Did you not go out night and day with this saloon passenger? — Never you mind about that. After leaving the Glebe, I went to live in Liverpool-street, in my own name.
And did Sydenham go to live there also? — Yes, he went to live there also (laughing,).
When Mr Sydenham was sitting in court a little while ago, whose bag and fan was he holding? — Mine, of course, whose else did yer think they were?
After Liverpool- street, where did you go to reside? — At Kensington.
What street? — Dunno.
What was the name of the house or number? — No name and no number.
At this stage a couple of police officers glided nimbly up towards the bench, having evidently received a wireless message from Marconi Drew, and shafted a glass decanter, drinking tumbler, and big metal inkpot.
The Woman in the Case (or, rather, the box): Ha, ha! (laughing).
Magistrate: I won't stand it much longer.
Mr Abigail (continuing, to witness): Well, and where next did you go to live? — Oh, ask his Lordship there (and ere she
NODDED HER NAPPER at her Sylvester Horatio) about when he wired me to get a room for Miss McNicholl. Go on, arsk him that, there's a good feller.
Did you not go arm-in-arm with Sydenham yesterday to the boat on which your husband is employed? — No, but I went to meet his Lordship.
Did you bring Sydenham to court with you to-day? — You bet; he's a friend of mine.
He is? — Certainly.
Did he pay £1 1s expenses for you on the day you moved to your last place? — My so-called husband didn't, anyhow.
Were you ever arrested, in Dunedin, New Zealand? — Sir! I refuse to answer such a question. Bah!
Were you, for indecent behavior? — Sir.!!
And were you doing six months there? — Oh, sir! As for you, why —
Mr Clarke: That'll do. Stand down and sign your depositions. — Sign? Will I! No, I won't; not me. Why?
Magistrate: Because everyone else does it.
Here she flopped out of the witnessbox, and then hopped back into it again, and addressed herself to the magistrate: "Here, I say — "
Magistrate: You must not get up there again. — I will!
Magistrate (to a constable): Place her around there (indicating the spot where accused persons usually stand)
This was done, and Agnes now found herself in
FRONT OF THE DOCK Magistrate: For you're having been insolent to me, and for your coming here in a half-drunken state to-day, I now sentence you to seven days' imprisonment for contempt. The maintenance case I accordingly adjourn. (Then, to the insolent Agnes): Perhaps when you next appear here you will know how to conduct yourself.
Agnes: But, your worship, hic, hiscoose me.
As she was being escorted out of court she whispered in her wild despair to constable Castles. "You'll look after me, dear?" at which Billy cast on the insolent Agnes a look of absolute terror.
The case was subsequently heard and dismissed. -NZ Truth, 23/3/1912.
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